i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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