I hate all girls vehemently.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
