haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize