Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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