Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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