Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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