Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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