i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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