my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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