If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My breasts were aching with rage.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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