Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
