we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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