stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
