cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
