ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
