1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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