I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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