So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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