operation have a gay friend backfired
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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