butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its not stalking. its research.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize
