Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
