Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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