All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
