i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
