Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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