They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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