dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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