is your mom at the bar?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
