I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize