So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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