I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
