yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
