My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
