My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
