yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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