omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
