okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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