there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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