His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
