i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
