You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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