He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
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I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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