i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
birth control should be required to get into college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
