we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize