marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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