my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
