if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
