Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
