Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
