watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
