This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
