i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
