Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
