It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Small penises have feelings too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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