I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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