the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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