Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
