If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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