I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just gargled with NyQuil
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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