So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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