I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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