my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
