Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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