oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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